Curramore Master Sausage Makers Sizzle
by dragon-slayer Stephen St George

The Curramore Guild of Master Sausage Makers spread enlightenment to the co-operative pagan worshippers of the Maple Clan on the evening of Saturday 30 September.

Inspired by His Worship, the High Priest Boris the Grind, and his assistants Peter the Boer, James of Word, Euan the Alchemist and Stephen St George (well-known dragon-slayer and correspondent), the Curramore Guild humbly presented its range of salubrious, sacrificial, organic sausages to 65 long-deprived souls in the hope that they would mend their wicked ways and pay homage to the noble art of traditional sausage-making using recipes from around the world.

The peasants gorged themselves to excess while long-standing vegetarians were transformed into carnivorous beasts, awakening their cravings for sacred sausages such as Russian Imperial Mustard delights, pungent, spicy Elizabethan bangers, Ukrainian heavyweights, Boerewors South African farmers' beef and pork curlies, devilishly hot chorizos and Italian herb and garlic bombshells accompanied by a wicked array of gravy and mash, vegetables, sauerkraut and salads, all washed down with some good wines, lagers and allegedly non-alcoholic witches' brews that the Guild was unable to ban.

Temporary chef Dylan Gittoes was so traumatised by the baptism of this spiritual experience that he's decided to head off to Sydney, although more hardy Club souls – apprentice chef Allira Donovan, Ben Green, Joelle Guillard, Francis Minnaert and volunteer Douglas Bailey – have agreed to stay as a direct consequence of their conversion to the sacred art and admiration of the mighty sausage.

Carmel Givens, Pamela Harrison and Alan of Harrington celebrated their combined 180+ years of paganism by converting themselves in what one Guild spokesman claimed was a spiritual rebirthing. They will forever express gratitude and amazement at the life-giving powers of the humble sausage of esoteric and foreign origins.

A convivial night with phallic worship undertones (as suggested by some Maple Clan members) was had by all in what turned out to be a rip-roaring party.

[From "Maple Street Co-op News", October/November 2006; published by The Maple Street Co-operative Society Ltd, 37 Maple Street, Maleny, Qld 4552, Australia, tel (07) 5494 2088, email maplest.co-op@serv.net.au,
website http://www.maplestreetco-op.com.au]